Love, Like Breath, Is Tension

πνεῦμα, ατος, τό
(pnyoo’-mah)

pneúma – properly, spirit (Spirit), wind, or breath. The most frequent meaning (translation) of 4(pneúma) in the NT is “spirit” (“Spirit”). Only the context however determines which sense(s) is meant.

I’ve been circling this singular point of gravity in my prayers and meditations for the last 12 months: Breath. It keeps coming up as the most central metaphor, experience, and analogy which I can comprehend. Everything in existence BREATHES. Down to the smallest of elements zooming in and out of nuclear orbit, out to the furthest vantage point of space where the far flung matter of the great singularity loses all momentum before it respirates back to the point of its origin. Stars exhale the light, and when they die they suck it all back in.

Life is a struggle of two independent, yet interdependent and often opposing forces.  That energy, that force, that tension is Love. Like the expanding and contracting forces of our lungs, Love is breath and life is its offspring; the byproduct of its dance. “In the beginning the Spirit of God hovered over the face of the deep and into the darkness spoke: Let there be…” and there was love. And it was good. It was all good. God did not coerce the darkness to yield the light. God offered an invitation and light, like love, consented. Its the great dance. To the fool the dance seems like a war; back and forth, back and forth. To the greedy the dance seems a waste of time; side step, side step, pause. To the tyrant it seems like a lack of progress on a linear progression towards achievement and greatness; two steps forward and one step back. But the point of love is not a destination, its the embrace. The embrace of two incalapsable persons. Its all the way from here to nowhere in the arms of the one you’ve freely chosen. So even though its as fleeting as the air we breath, here’s a prayer for leaning into the dance of life. Be neither settled nor hurried to the end; for love, like breath, is tension:

Oh come, unyielding light of life
(Pause)

You who show your face in the darkness
(Pause with closed eyes)

You who press in with hands of care and tenderness
Come, once again unto me and fill me with your satisfying presence
(Notice any physical sensations in your body: recieve them as love and with love)

Though the way is unknown, there you are at my side, welcoming like ocean waves lapping gently at my feet
(feel the ebb and flow of the familiar; the small yet reliable patterns of experience: A ticking clock, the buble of a fish tank, the blowing of the wind, defening silence)

Whisper gently now where my hair stands on end, like soldiers for their general
(Imagine the lips of love hovering warmly over your ear lobes, and press into that conviction, heart and mind, before moving on) 

Breathe your breath upon me
Lean in close
cheek to cheek
and tell me
once again
that you are good

Then, and only then will my fear relent (breathe in)
to power greater than itself (breathe out)

Swallowed up in your love
(Take all that love you’ve encountered over the past few minutes and pull it around you like a blanket)

I rest in your embrace

Amen